October 25, 2010

Getting Things Done

I'm so excited that things are getting done around here. Once the kids go back to school, I get antsy to close up the back yard and put everything away.

The pool is now closed and the patio is empty

I like to close up the screened porch and put all my furniture inside.

It's such a great feeling to get the garage cleaned out so I can park in there once the snow flies.

I know the garage doesn't look that great, but for us, this is. We have an old house so the garage is old and small. Trust me, all the cupboards in the back are organized and all unnecessary things have been thrown away (except for two bags of pine cones I've had in the cupboard for about 6 years. I USE them! They are not unnecessary.)
Now I can get started on the inside, fall cleaning and getting ready for the holidays.

I am working on starting an Etsy store and so I need to be in a good place with my house before I can really get into it. I guess it's the perfectionist in me that holds me back. Now, please don't think that I am  complimenting myself. ON the contrary. Go to http://www.flylady.net/ and see what her definition of perfectionism is. It's a trait that holds you back. It keeps you from getting anything done because you are so nitpicky about the small stuff. My doctor claims this is what has caused my fibromyalgia. (I have some of my own feelings on that.)

Also, I think I have house guilt and that will keep me from starting my work as well. I have not been creating much of anything lately and that is not like me at all. Since I went back to work, I have been too tired to clean the house like I used to. If I am not keeping the house up, I feel like I shouldn't be fooling around with beads or making jewelry and accessories or anything else that makes me happy. Its all about levels. Almost like a video game. You have to get this done before you can move on to getting that done. So frustrating. But, I am optimistic about the whole thing.

I feel like I should have gone to school for some sort of design. I have received many compliments on things I have put together or made or arranged or planted. More and more each day, I am regretting the decision to not go to school for photography. I just thought that if I did, I would have to leave Buffalo to get a good job in the field, and the thought of leaving my parents and my sister was too much for me. Now, photography is all I think about. I even started looking in to going back to school for it. But I don't know how I would swing it with a child starting college 4 years from now as well.

I think it may be in my blood. My mother was a photographer's assistant in London before she met my dad. My uncle was a photographer for the war department during WWII. He also worked for Reuters as a photographer for his career. When I was a kid my mom bought me a roll of film and gave me her camera to use. I went about taking pictures of everything I thought was beautiful. When I was in high school I took photography. I actually just found my black and whites I took and developed back then. I don't know what I was thinking when I didn't follow that path. Now I feel horribly out of the loop. So much has changed in photography since I learned about it all those years ago.

I am probably thinking too much about this. I should just let myself get through the work I have put on myself for now and see where I can go with that. Baby steps, Mary.

Anyway, here's to hopes for the future and I will be thankful on behalf of all the people who are in a job they love and are doing exactly what they always wanted to do, even if that is not me. Yet...lol.

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